Categories
Whatever

mysteries

A large serving tray of long tubes sitting in a pool of brown sauce was spotted in the cafeteria as I went to purchase some milk. It looked vaguely digusting until it dawned on me:

“Oh they’re sausages.”

Solved.

In the coffee room where the machine that dispenses fine coffees, there was a sign:

“Ou sont les K-Cups?”

The notice advised that the styrofoam cups that come with the coffee machine were missing and if not found, the Keurig machine would be replaced with some lesser product.

A fellow office drone remarked, “They’re trying to scare us. Who would steal the K-Cups?”

I ruled myself out as a suspect as I often use my own mug.

The case is still open.

Categories
Music Whatever

last american virgin

They all seem like such nice girls and it has always been my hope that they would get along. Young people can be so competitive. So I was relieved to read on Yahoo’s music “news” page that Michelle Branch is okay with Avril Lavigne. The article also mentioned Avril’s difficulty is telling Michelle and Vanessa Carlton apart.

In other news, it was a slow news day yesterday, what with the racist shooting in the states, the death of the Iranian conjoined twins, and another court decision allowing same sex marriages in BC.

Fortunately we were spared such doldrums by the shocking news that Britney Spears is no longer a virgin. In an interview she claimed to have slept “only” with Justin Timberlake and “dabbled” in drugs. And by “only” and “dabbled” she meant that she’s had sex with Colin Farrell while doing lines of coke off Jennifer Garner’s ass. It was her “wild year,” she says. Oh honey, we’ve all been there.

It truly is a milestone in the career of any young, specifically female, pop star to publically announce that she’s been relieved of her virginity. I remember when Debbie Gibson lost it to Lemmy from Motorhead. Pushed the Berlin Wall story right off the front page.

No news yet on the hard drug habits or the maidenhead status of Avril, Vanessa and/or Michelle (same chick, right?). As the only person on the internet providing such information, I will keep you posted.