The Muppets As Reviewed By Someone Who Took A 3.25 Year Old To The Theatre

self control... It was in 1979 at the age of 8 that I first saw The Muppet Movie after having enjoyed their work on The Muppet Show and Sesame Street. The movie was a lot of fun because it presented the Muppets in their origin story, had that little in-joke where they meet Big Bird who informs them he’s off to make his fortune in public television, and most of all, you saw Kermit riding a bike on his own, which freaked. my. shit. OUT.

They would later freak my shit out when C-3P0 tap danced on The Muppet Show.


(skip to the end)

The Muppet Show was filmed in England, as was The Empire Strikes Back so you ended up seeing Luke in his Empire outfit four months before the movie was released. I thought they designed it specifically for his appearance with the Muppets and they kept it for Empire.

Anyway, skip ahead 31 years and today we took our 3.25 year old to The Muppets. A recent convert, James is particularly fond of Animal and asks us to do the Swedish Chef.

Last summer we took him to Winnie the Pooh which he managed pretty well. I was worried about his attention span as The Muppets is longer than Winnie the Pooh and is somewhat more complex in its narrative structure.

The 70% of it we saw was pretty good. As co-writer, Jason Segal displayed a reverence for the source material and a flair for comedy but as an actor, I’ve never been able to support the guy. I’m not sure why. He looks like he doesn’t wash with soap. On the other hand, Amy Adams was a delight, as always. If you don’t like Amy Adams, stop reading this and go somewhere else. You’re not a nice person. I don’t want to know you.

James dug it for the most part but his reactions were limited to announcing the characters as they appeared on screen.

“THAT’S KERMIT!”

“THAT’S MISS PIGGY! SHE SAYS HIIII-YA!”

“THAT’S FOZZIE!”

“ANIMAL!”

“WHAT’S HIS NAME?”

“I’M DONE!”

The he wanted to play. Then he wanted to pee. Then he wanted to play again. Then he wanted to go down to the arcade and sit in every driver’s seat of the car games. Eventually we gave up and left, just in time for the number, “Am I A Man Or A Muppet?” so I’m not sure if they managed to save the old theatre or not. I’ll have to wait for the DVD, I guess.

Next time, after $50 in tickets and concessions, I think we’ll just wait to see a movie when it comes to Dollar Cinema.

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