“Why is the Red Lantern Green?!”

I blew off Fringe the first season, assuming it was an expensive remake of The X-Files and, well, I watched the X-Files. So why didn’t anyone tell me it was this awesome thing about a mad scientist who kidnapped his late son’s alternate universe counterpart? And Leonard Nimoy is the bad guy? And there are these bald guys from the future, maybe, who eat banana pepper sandwiches, and in the alternate everyone travels by zeppelin, you can’t get coffee, and Green Lantern was red, and most insane of all, Eric Stoltz was in Back the Future.

Why am I only seeing this now? Damn it, I’m supposed to be on top of this stuff. Damn this middle-aged life and its responsibilities.


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