I Watched it for a Little While. I Love to Watch Things on TV.

January is that time of year when the PVR gets full to bursting of returning shows. Last night was no exception with the return of schedule hog American Idol, which I believe runs seven nights a week for three hours at a time.

Kerry gets a kick out of the bad auditions. Me, I wait until the top twenty or so is chosen, then pick the singer that is most like a singer I would listen to, become emotionally invested in him or her, then despair as they are booted off in the early rounds.

So, anyway, crazy drunk Paula Abdul’s gone now, replaced by Kara DiLaGuardiaDiLaurentis and last night, special guest judge Posh Spice. The irony of the worst singer in the Spice Girls judging someone else’s singing is not lost here. But Victoria Beckham is one of those people who have attained the status of a beautiful person simply because we are told she is beautiful, when clearly, she is horrific. And because she is a ‘fashion icon’, this gives her skills in all fields: singing competitions, labour arbitration, or commercial aviation.

Last night the show was its usual amped up self, reflecting on last year’s epic battle between Christian Boy Next Door and Gay Ziggy Stardust which, yeah, what happened to last year’s winner? What was he called? Ryan something? Soon enough, they’re into the auditions and other than the girl who rocked ‘American Idol’ for Wii and the weirdly hostile guy with the giant glasses, I’ve forgotten them all.

In other news, the Kids in the Hall returned to TV last night with their League of Gentlemen inspired series, ‘Death Comes to Town’. The original sketch show was a pop culture landmark for people of a certain age in this country and it was good to have them back. The series, a murder mystery set in small-town Ontario is a bit hit or miss. The town mayor’s efforts to get the 2028 Olympics brought to Shuckton are great but they tend to hit a lot of easy targets: small town folks are rubes, fat people are to be mocked, local news teams are inept, etc.

Still, I just enjoying seeing them all together and will watch the rest of the series.

Finally, everybody’s talking about Sarah Palin joining Fox News. I’m just gonna put on my nationalist hat and ask if we don’t have enough dipshit politicians or political commentators of our own in Canada who are equally worthy of our mockery. I mean, I know she’s a trainwreck and all but I worry that this fascination with her comes as the expense of our own ill-informed elected officials.

Besides, the audience for cable news is actually quite small. Even if more people watch Fox News than CNN or MSNBC, millions more are watching reruns of police procedural shows. In Canada, that number is even tinier. I can’t even get Fox on my cable provider because there is likely no audience for it in Montreal.

Remember how much fun we had with Stockwell Day? Those were good times. Can’t we go back to that and leave Palin to the Americans?

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