Potty Training: Part One

Warning: Post contains urine-related humour. Reader discretion is advised.

In my parents’ bathroom as I prepare to give Cheeky Boy his nightly bath, it occurs to me that I need to pee but the bath is drawn, Cheeky Boy is waiting and we’re sort of at the point of no return. Besides, he watches me pee all the time. I figure it’s part of his early potty training. Of the two of us parents, I’m the only uniquely qualified to train him in these matters. He does have a potty but has only managed to use it successfully the once and that was by accident.

“Okay, kid,” I tell him. “Sit on yer bum. Daddy’s gotta go. No, sit down. It won’t take long. Thanks. No, sit down. Yes, that’s pee. This is how it works. Sit down. No, don’t reach for it. You can’t hold it. Sit down! You can’t hold the pee! No, don’t! Now it’s going everywhere! Sit — oh, forget it. *sigh* Yes, that’s pee.”

Gotta start somewhere, I guess.

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