And then I became a father

I haven’t yet wrapped my head around it and yet it’s bigger than graduating university, getting my first job, traveling to Senegal, or moving to Montreal.

An hour or so after watching (and sort of assisting) Kerry give birth to our son, we both said to each other, in a mix of joy and fear: “Everything’s changed now.” Sure, everything really changed that day in January when Kerry handed me that positive pregnancy test but it never really hits home until you’re holding that child in your arms.

You see Christmases to come and first days of school and birthdays and trips abroad but before any of that happens, you’ve been given the task of caring for a small, helpless human. You can’t help but wonder if you’re up the task. I once melted a plastic rice-cooker in the microwave when I forgot to add water, how am I supposed to take care of this baby’s well-being without breaking him?

And then he’ll look at me like that and everything falls into place and I know I’d do anything for him.


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