Dear CBS

While it was thoughtful to include a montage of Bruce over the closing credits, can I just point out one thing?

HE’S NOT DEAD. He just couldn’t go poop. Therefore, he was taken off to hospital for treatment and could not continue the game.

Also, Survivors, again it was thoughtful to commemorate his time on the island in a sand tribute but again, he’s not dead, just really, really constipated.

That is all.

Happy Passover,


10 thoughts on “Dear CBS

  1. Hope everything comes out well in the end.

    I loved how they wrecked his rock garden with a cheesy roadside memorial. I’m sure he was ecstatic.

  2. Agreed. Both of you.

    Is it just me or was Terry biting his tongue because he just got a free pass and coultn’t show he was happy? With the idol in his pocket and the way he plays, he’s a got a chance. That would be insane.

  3. Best exchange of the night (of which there were many):

    Courtney: I remember one time I was so constipated I thought I was having…
    Danielle: A baby?
    Courtney: Uh…no. Appendicitis

    God, this group is such a train wreck. I love it.

  4. They’re a train wreck and they’re bitchy to each other constantly, yet they won’t turn on each other…. YET…. Oooh, I’m crossing my fingers for Terry, though he really is the Tom of Panama.

  5. I’m hoping that the final two are Terry and Shane. Then, when Terry wins, we all get to watch Shane have his biggest hissy-fit yet.

    Pure reality-TV gold.

  6. I’m kind of hoping Cirie takes it. She’s the only sane one left on the show. I can see her floating through the rest of the game as a crucial swing vote, then somehow making it to Final Two with Shane.

    Terry is cocky.

    Shane is batshit.

    Aras is the not-leading leader.

    Danielle thinks babies come out of your bum.

    Courtney thinks she can sing Bruce’s rectal pain away.

    Bruce is a little loopy but early on identified himself as his team’s saviour because of his awesome wilderness skills.

    Cirie is just funny and so…normal. And to think I made fun of her for her fear of leaves.

    We also forgot to mention Shane’s naked rescue assistance of Bruce. He had to sleep naked because of the diaper rash on his scrotum.

    The season started slow but I have admit, it’s gotten really good lately.

    In the previews for next week, Jeff asks if they want to know what they’re playing for. The camera then shoots to his shorts. I assume he’s pulling out the cursed car keys. Or they’re playing for something else found in the Probst crotchal region.

  7. I’ve grown to like Cirie, but I keep thinking that she should have been voted out in week 1. If the final two turns out to be Courtney and Shane, I’ll refuse to keep watching this show.

  8. Please, please, please don’t let Cirie win!! I can’t take it when people who do NOTHING win. It’s a competition, give me someone who makes an effort other than sticking to an alliance. Colby (I know, he didn’t win), Rob (diddo), Tom, Terry.

  9. I find in ‘Survivor,’ the person most ‘deserving’ rarely wins. Because it’s not just a competition in terms of challenges. There’s also the careful managing of interpersonal relationships. This is often difficult when you have to deal with the likes of Shane and Courtney. The best players tend to do well, but not too well, in challenges and stick with the perceived leader, all the while planning the flip the game to their advantage.

    I was actually a bit disappointed with Tom’s win because several opportunities presented themselves to other players to take him out. Nobody ever really said, “This alliance is very good for Tom, but it’s not very good for me. Tom needs to go if I want to win.” Instead, they basically handed Tom his win.

    Terry’s mistake was not flipping any Casayans when he promised them “final six,” with them at the bottom. Gee, thanks Terry.

    I tend to go with whoever plays the smartest, on all fronts. Cirie isn’t a good physical player but I think her patience with her tribemates is helping her go a long way. It may not be much of a strategy, but it’s hers and it seems to be working so far.

    And she’s funny, and that goes a long way with me. 😉

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