Jesus, Take the Wheel

After successfully finding the rabbit ears (which were packed away, way, way deep in the bottom of — okay they were on my night stand shelf), I managed to get a couple of a channels. Did I mention the cable’s gone out? No? Well, it’s out for some reason. Yes, we pay our bill.

While watching the Brit Awards (cool, but not as cool as the ECMAs, surely), I apparently missed this bit of dialogue on a certain popular televised singing contest as hopefuls were about to be told their dreams of stardom were to be cruelly crushed:

Paula (to Simon): What did you tell me? What did you tell me?
Paula (to Ryan): Simon gave me advice and he said that on the X Factor he
always refers to a fortune cookie and says the moth who finds the melon…
Randy: No, who finds the cornflake…
Paula: Who finds the cornflake…
Paula and Randy together: Always finds the melon.
Paula: And one of you didn’t get the right… um…
Ryan: Maybe this was a bad idea.
Randy: Simon’s still in third grade tonight, he’s in third grade.
Simon: Why am I am getting blamed?
Ryan: I don’t know; let’s act like adults, this is an important moment here.

Seriously, did anyone see this? Was Paula really that wasted? Were the judges that awful? And I missed it?!

Anyone want to take wagers that Paula’s replaced by Whitney Houston next year?


6 thoughts on “Jesus, Take the Wheel

  1. It was a fucking car crash.
    Hey, look, a couple kids are up there, in front of millions, wondering about their fate, and there’s an incoherent drunken crack-head pedophile babbling on.
    TPTB will have to dry her out soon, because this is becoming worse than last year.
    Don’t ask me what she said, it didn’t make too much sense, and was mumbled.
    But wow, Ryan was pissed!

  2. Oh. My. God.

    I hope they don’t do an intervention because this alone could make it the best season ever, especially when it brings in the possibility of a live on-air meltdown.

    Damn, now that’s another show I have to watch religiously.

  3. It was such a weird tv moment and yet it was probably the only time something spontaneaous and not completed rehearsed happened on AI. Paula looks like she’s on serious meds and I can’t believe they still have her on the air. She must have an amazing agent who negotiated a rock solid contract.

    Can you believe that Jesus song? Jesus! This has to be the worst lyrics ever written. What is she going to sing next? Her grocery list? The route between her house and the studio?

  4. Wait, you actually listened to it?! That takes an incredible intestinal fortitude. I flipped channels.
    Then again, her winning song last year had something to do with Jesus being up in her va-jay-jay, or something like that.

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