Rainforest Muesli: A Play in One Act

Let’s pretend I work for a company that makes breakfast cereals. We have recently developed a new product called Rainforest Muesli, a delicious blend of fruits, nuts, and whole grain cereal. We would like to advertise it.

We set it up with our Marketing folks. As the guy who normally handles this stuff is out sick, I help out and handle it.

The following conversation took place in my head as the actual conversation involved more people and was much longer and featured more of my trademark growling at people through clenched teeth. This version has, however, the ring of truth:

ME: Hey, this isn’t our Rainforest Muesli ad. This is our Rice n’ Choco Chunks ad.

MARKETING: That’s right.

ME: But I thought we were advertising Rainforest Muesli.

MARKETING: No, we’re advertising Rice n’ Choco Chunks.

ME: But I thought we were advertising Rainforest Muesli.

MARKETING: We’re advertising Rice n’ Choco Chunks in the stores where we also sell Rainforest Muesli.

ME: But I thought the whole point of this week’s ads is that we were advertising Rainforest Muesli.

MARKETING: We’re going to run a script saying, ‘Don’t forget our awesome new Rainforest Muesli.’

ME: Why don’t we just advertise Rainforest Muesli? Why are we even bothering with Rice n’ Choco Chunks? We advertise Rice n’ Choco Chunks every week.

MARKETING: Exactly. We can’t not advertise Rice n’ Choco Chunks this week. Our customers will get confused.

ME: They’ll get more confused if we advertise two products that have nothing to do with each other in the same ad. Don’t you advertise the products we ask you to advertise, not the products you think we need to advertise?

MARKETING (put fingers in ears): La-la-la! I can’t hear you. Oh, and don’t forget that we need to advertise all stores where Rainforest Muesli is available alongside Rice n’ Choco Chunks. Otherwise, it won’t make any sense.

ME (buries face in hands): No, we can’t have that now, can we?

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