The Conservative Cabinet, according to Rick Mercer

Adding to my misgivings about a potential Conservative government, Rick Mercer is speculating on what a Conservative Cabinet would look like. From Doris Day circulating a rumour that Yasser Arafat died of AIDS to Rob Anders labelling Nelson Mandela a terrorist to Darrel Reid proclaiming that Christians have a duty to change laws, it, at first blush, looks like satire. In reality it’s far closer to the truth than anyone could be comfortable with.

By John

Former Maritimer living in the suburbs of Montreal.

16 replies on “The Conservative Cabinet, according to Rick Mercer”

oh my god, the abortion comment. i’d never heard that before. how completely horrific.

i have no idea how saint john is going to swing. if the government’s heading conservative, probably liberal; or vice-versa. you know how it is.

i’ll do my part for terry albright though.

Yeah, Harper has been pretty successful this election portraying himself as a moderate. But the party he leads, and those in it who are up for key positions in a potential Tory government, has an open-door policy on all sorts of nutjobs.

It’s funny. When you live in or near the larger Canadian urban centres, you just assume everyone in the country is as curious, tolerant, and open-minded as you. Then you, say, read the letters page of the Telegraph-Journal and a different picture emerges. Obviously those are broad strokes, some urban dwellers can be rednecks and some rural people have their Grade 10, but nobody I know in Montreal is pleased with the idea of a majority Tory government. And these aren’t uber-lefties or UFPistes. These are middle of the road suburban folk at my office. They know that, to steal from a certain Newfoundland show, half the Tory caucus needs a tutor to work their way up to retarded.

Damnit, Liberals. This is what happens you strut around like you own the place.

“Don’t believe the hype!”

The media has portrayed only two political parties contending for majority in Parliament: Liberals and Conservatives.

Truth is, I doubt the Conservatives will get as many votes as they think they will.

The Bloc will once again grab a share, NDP will do better than ever before (mainly because people will take a look at the Liberals, shiver, a look at the Conservatives, soil themselves and jump in the NDPs lap) and the Green party will gain even more ground. Oh yeah, and the Liberals will probably remain in power.

The Conservatives have a long history of being frighteningly weird.

the pit of foreboding forming into a ball of doom in one’s stomach? that kind of feeling?

i hear that.

did you watch the debates? i watched about an hour of the english one, turning it off in the firm belief that it would have been more efficient a debate had it been according to w.w.e. rules.

WWE rules are for pussies. Let’s go with Atlantic Grand Prix wrestling rules.

I watched the English debate, then skipped over to The Bachelor to empty my brain. The debates just left me more confused than ever. Voting Liberal means voting for Liza Frickin’ Frulla and voting NDP means voting for Matt McLauchlin who seems like a Montreal Metro version of a trainspotter. I may just decide to put my vote toward the party that represents most, but not all, of my beliefs which tends to be the NDP.

Missed the french one though, which is too bad, because I understand that, in french, they debate in the nude.

I was getting a little hopeful when Martin was trying to frame the debate as “the Liberals are about people working together, where the Tories are about people working as individuals”, which is at least a little true, and is a pretty important distinction in the face of global pandemics, catastrophic climate change, the collapse of the American economy, and all the other charming things the future holds, but after the debates I just want to strangle Paul Martin and his entire campaign team. If the Tories win a majority it’s on his stupid uncharismatic head.

The not withstanding clause? WTF?! THAT’S what you’ve got?

I’m so mad right now. I want my legalized weed and gay marriage and swingers clubs. And he’s fucking it all up!

Well, I’m voting Green. My vote helped get the Green Party additional funding and I’m hoping that this time around it helps get them seats.

In the end, I’d rather support a party that will act as an economical and ecological conscience rather than a language one. To me, it’s time we start supporting the things that we brag that Canada is all about — no, not beer and bacon!

Heather, I’m with you. I was really enjoying Canada for a while there.

Paolo, did you know your Green Party is formerly of your old ‘hood of Nun’s Island? He lives in Vermont these days and is probably the only candidate anywhere who will have his own show on the Life Network.

Me, I think I’m still going with the anorak who’s running for the NDP.

I wouldn’t say you’re an anorak. An obsession with all things Joss Whedon does not make an anorak make. It’s more an obession with the minutia of things like train timetables. Also, you have a job and do not live with your mother. Also, anoraks, at least the ones I’ve seen, are generally men.

To bring it back to Coronation Street, as all things must do, Roy Cropper is an anorak and has been referred to as such by other characters on the show. It if weren’t for Hayley, he’d likely spend all his free time at the train station.

oho, it’s the minutia of world war one that makes me an anorak. such conversations, that i have actually had, as “oh, there’s the redan, right, so then b company would have attacked along the left flank” when one is standing in a perfectly innocuous wheat field in the middle of nowhere. usually while wearing wellies and fleece.

and i did live with my mum, up until last month. it’s ok. i can live with the shame of being cropper-like in my first world war obsessiveness.

though i must say, true anoraks are annoying as all hell, because more than once at beaumont-hamel they would interrupt me to give additional detail that was mindnumbingly unimportant… but the fact that i already knew those details doesn’t bode too well for me. 😉

But you also have a personality and can speak and interact easily with many different social groups and have empathy for others on an emotional level. Your obsession does not hinder you socially. For those reasons, you’re not an anorak. Just a big friggin’ geek. 😉

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