From a dépanneur in Keswick (the one in England, not New Brunswick) that sells, well, beer. Apparently, the Cumbrians love their home brews. I approve. The bottle on the bottom shelf, in the middle is quite nice. Yes, this is my new wallpaper.
What I learned on my Christmas vacation:
- Langholm, Scotland is the model for the musical “Brigadoon.” It is a place that exists only in the mists of time. You see, on Wednesday afternoons, the town shuts down completely. Except for the pubs, just in case you wanted to get drunk in the afternoons and watch fitba oan Sky.
- The Beatles are one of Liverpool’s chief tourist attractions. The original Cavern Club was torn down so a replica was built nearby. I like Liverpool. It reminds me of Saint John, only with those cool Ringo Starr accents.
- In Rosslyn Chapel, the Apprentice Pillar is decorated with images of corn which technically is impossible because it was built before European contact with North America. I saw the pillar but did not see the corn. Also, God is buried there with the Holy Grail. Or something.
- On New Year’s Eve in Scotland, it’s called Hogmanay. At midnight everyone gathers in the town to ring the new year in. The piper band will march through the town. The local chavs will binge drink. A skank in a mini-skirt will randomly kiss me before heading into the nearest pub, shouting, “Let’s git fooking mental!!!”
- Single malt whiskey does not taste bad. However, after four shots, I cannot form sentences. This was my first “First Footing.”
- The British rail system will sometimes run on time. Sometimes not. Sometimes the trains won’t show up at all.
- The Scotsman is a good, even-handed, newspaper. The Sunday Sport is even better as it eschews commentary and facts for boobs and football.
- The worst Chinese buffet in the world can be found in Galashiels.
- After two days I decided wool sweaters and tweed is a cool way to dress.
- The British are, amazingly, completely uninterested in hockey. But some fat, sweaty bloke won his 13th World Darts Championship. This, apparently, was an important event.
- Cold is relative. While the cold and damp will chill you to the bone, it’s good for my skin.
- Seeing the new Doctor Who on Christmas Day on BBC1 is amazingly satisfying.