No guys flying around in jet-packs

The Globe and Mail is reporting that Friday’s Olympic opening ceremonies will celebrate the ‘evolution of human consciousness.’

I love the opening ceremonies, possibly more than the games themselves. I love how, every single time, they always overdo it. There’s always some part nobody understands: “Why is the angry clown chasing that little girl? Is that a dolphin? What the fuck is Annie Lennox wearing?” There’s an awful power ballad from one of the host country’s singers. And of course, the parade of nations takes freaking hours. I can’t wait until the World Government comes in: “Now entering the stadium, Earth!

I will watch a stadium full of people at the peak of physical perfection, all while I chow down a falafel sandwich and a beer (or two). I may even rely on my education which, for a few years, was heavy on the Ancient Greece, so that I can pretend I’m smart when I recognise certain things throughout the show: “Ooh, it’s Jeff, the God of Biscuits!

And Bjork may sing.

(CBC Olympics broadcast schedule)

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