You Can’t Do That On Television

Dear CTV

Last night I watched the Juno Awards. I thought it was a good show and our musicians like A Simple Plan or Billy Talent sound nothing at all like their U.S. counterparts.

I feel, however, that your broadcast exceeded the standards of good taste and community values that one normally would expect from the channel that broadcasts “The Osbournes” uncensored. During the show, Alanis Morissette did a bit where she decried American censorship and claimed that she could do or say anything she liked. This was followed by a string of curse words that the censors wisely bleeped out. Hard to believe that cute little star of You Can’t Do That on Television has grown up to be such a potty mouth. She then claimed that Canadians are less afraid of a little nudity and proceeded to take her clothes off, revealing a tan body stocking sporting fake nipples and fake pubic hair. I assume, of course, that this was a very clever piece of satire regarding Janet Jackson’s exposed breast. She then removed the nipples and pubic hair to reveal her camel-toe.

CTV, this time you have gone too far. What possible reason would there be for viewers to see Alanis Morissette’s camel-toe in prime-time? I was shocked and appalled. Imagine if a child were present and we would be forced to explain this part of Alanis’ … “area.” Won’t someone think of the children? Shame.

Thine
John

PS: Tell Ben and Tanya to shut the fuck up.

(edited for sobriety)

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