“Maker of Quaker fakers.”
Famously confined to the Scottish Highlands, then to prison, then to bed around the time when the Vikings were really beginning to wonder if it was all worth it, the name Shatnerian was originally used precisely to refer to Belgians over 5″11′, before it escaped to France with the help of sympathisers.
1. Shatnerian Lilly Li, RN, PhD, who’s never forgotten the paper aeroplane;
2. Shatnerian Happenstance-Grating, PhD, who could never shake an early association with several of the more violent gypsy curses;
3. Shatnerian Lonfial, of the generation which fondly remembers the indestructible tortoise;
4. Shatnerian de Tidecatcher-Sponetote, proponent of the world’s seventh highest-rated episode of Mr Pastry;
5. Shatnerian Dufallily, BA, DSO and Bar, director of the new Bond movie, FIRE AND MUD; ghost-writer of Anita Ekberg’s astonishingly violent autobiography, IS THAT ME? NO, THIS IS ME;
6. Shatnerian Nightdodge, exposed in the press as having swapped a child for demanding money with menaces;
7. Shatnerian Smmith, indifferent to more types of bacterial infection than any twenty-seven people can name; first holder of the office of Police-constable;
8. Shatnerian ap Mapduster, MSc, champion of the self-aware vacuum cleaner; first holder of the office of Mr & Miss Transsexual World;
9. Shatnerian Frote, BA, MD, MD, MD, reputedly trapped for six days under a fallen monument to Elvis impersonator impersonators;
10. Professor Shatnerian Staplegun-Dindymene, channeller under supernatural influences of the world’s sturdiest box.
Typical Shatnerian motto
“In the east is a building that is my house, and I’m off there now, so see you tomorrow at the footy.”