On Cars, Vacations, and The Constant Uncertainty of Living Correctly

It’s been said that when you hit your forties and you’re settled down with a kid or two, nothing much happens to you anymore.

 

 Oh, you might take a trip, like we did to Florida in April, or buy a house, which we haven’t and may never do. But barring any illnesses or misadventures, it’s a quiet, settled routine we’ve achieved.

We did buy a used car to replace the 11 year old Corolla, whose repair costs were getting larger and more frequent by the year. Eventually, a little math suggested a payment for a newer car would equal to or less than the annual cost of repairs. Or maybe a little more. I’m shit at math. Still, I got a decent amount for the trade-in and ended buying a 2009 Mazda 5 GT.

You may only see the front.

It’s a little more updated in terms of technology than the Corolla, which didn’t even have power windows.Then again, my first car, a hand me down 1988 Pontiac Sunbird, didn’t have a window that rolled all the way down. Onwards and upwards for me then.

It has a Bluetooth connection for those important, 30 second “Can you get milk?” calls on the way home from work. It has power windows, a remote starter, and a sun roof, not to mention leather seats with the arse warmers. The in-dash six CD changer forced me to go down to the basement and find what CDs I had left. I can tell you that in 2000, I was listening to Wilco, Joel Plaskett, Ben Folds, Johnny Cash, and the Clash. I’m still discovering secret compartments to hide things.

I had actually been looking for the replacement for the Corolla for some time but always assumed it would be another Toyota, probably a Matrix or a Yaris as we knew we wanted a hatchback. But my cousin, who came to my wedding last summer, drove a Mazda 5 and it planted a seed. Eventually a mental Venn diagram formed in my head with the Mazda 5 appearing the shared section among Cars That I Want, Cars That Are Practical, and Cars That I Can Afford.

Anyhow, I like it a lot, even if it is a little noisy on bumpy roads. Retiring the Corolla was done quickly, in the end. It was only after it was gone that I realized that car represented the last bit of my New Brunswick life that has stayed with me since moving here ten years ago. It was the first car that I had purchase on my own and it was my late brother-in-law who sold it to me. When I was clearing my things out of the car, I found his business card and put it somewhere safe.

Ten years. I’ve been up here ten years. Every now and again, we get serious about moving to New Brunswick to be closer to family but despite a number of job interviews, it just never happens. At one point, I interview for a position, didn’t get it and then was called again about the same position as they hadn’t realized they’d already interviewed. But focusing on the move back has proven to be a distraction from our present lives and we often feel as though we don’t truly live here.

So we’re making friends with the neighbours, volunteering for things, and getting James involved in more activities. We’ve unpacked the figurative suitcases and canceled the actual Indeed.ca job alerts.

I never decided if I wanted to live in the city and vacation in the country or live in the county and vacation in the city so we live in the suburbs and vacation in Florida.

Last month, we went to Florida for surprise week’s vacation. My parents had a condo rental that was going unused in Daytona Beach so it was given to us. Daytona is a NASCAR and spring break kind of a town so it’s not really a place we would have chosen on our own. But after the winter we had, it was just nice to see palm trees.

 

We managed to get in a day trip to Disney World. I had been there once, when I was nine years old so it was nice to go back and see what’s changed and what’s the same. The Jungle Cruise is the same un-pc attraction its always been but the Buzz Lightyear ride was pretty cool. So, we took our kid to Disney World. We’ve done our jobs as parents, I guess.

And now when James throws a tantrum or whines about how unfair life is, I just pull the old “Yeah, your parents who take you to Disney World are terrible.” We plan to ride that one well into his high school years.

The thing that impressed our son the most about Disney? The monorail. He even asked for a souvenir of it when we left. If that’s all it takes to impress the guy, I would have just taken him to Seattle.

Florida as a state is pretty interesting. People are generally friendly and chatty and you see why so many people retire there. Then you see ads for places where you can pawn your gold and buy a gun, or divorce lawyers who who only take male clients and it all hints to something darker. The local news tends to support the state’s recent unsavoury reputation.

Still, if you’re ever in Daytona Beach, I recommend Dancing Avocado Kitchen as a nice, non-chain place to eat if you like vegetarian fare and craft beers.

This summer we leave for the UK for two weeks. This will be the first time since we started going there together that we’re not heading straight for Scotland as soon as we land at Heathrow. This time, we’re spending two nights in London, two nights in Weston-Super-Mare where Kerry partially grew up and two nights in Edinburgh before spending the rest of the trip with the in-laws in Langholm.

There will also be a trip to Cheddar. I intend to eat a lot of caved aged cheese.

In fall, our wee lad starts kindergarten. Over the summer, he starts soccer and in fall, Beavers. So between the soccer, swimming, minivans, and Beavers membership, and trips to Costco, we’re pretty much living the West Island Anglo stereotype.

So are we doing things right? Who knows?

I Don’t Think My Son Knows Where He Lives

The Youngling has a small wooden train of three cars which looks, if you squint, like Montreal’s blue Metro cars. Last night we were playing with his trains on the train table:

Him: “This is my Metro. Do-do-doooooooo…”

Me: “What stop are we at? Champ-de-Mars?”

Him: “No.”

Me: “Place-d’Armes?”

Him: “No. Coronation Street.”

 

In Which the Dream of $7 Per Day Daycare Is Achieved

The Youngling has been in daycare for a little more than two years now with that time roughly split between two places. The first place was a shiny new facility located in a retail box store zone between a large boulevard and the Trans-Canada. The current place is in our new neighbourhood and sits across from the commuter train station. In September he’ll move to a new place as his spot in one of Quebec $7 day a day spots finally opened up for him.

Fortunately, the new daycare is actually a part of the current one as its effectively one place with the privately funded facility upstairs and the public subsidized daycare downstairs so he won’t be going far.

So, for a year at least, we’ll get to enjoy the benefits of public daycare. It’s actually $9 per day as there is an extra $2 per day for breakfast. We eat at home in the mornings but it’s nice to have the option.

Them, a year after that, he starts kindergarten. Beyond wrapping my head around just where the time went, we’ll have to figure out what to do with him in the summertime when school is out.

This was not a problem for me when I was growing up. When school ended in June, with the exception of our annual PEI vacation for two weeks in July, the days were largely free. My mother worked part-time during my younger years, our grandmother lived with us, we had stay at home moms for neighbours and I hung around their kids, and as the youngest of four children, there was always an older person around to make sure I was ok. We never did summer camp (couldn’t afford it) but there were a few short-term stints at YWCA day camps and (*sigh*) Vacation Bible School (our next door neighbours were Baptist missionaries).

It’s different today. We live where we have no immediate family and few neighbours whom we consider friends. For a lot of families, this is the case. People immigrate from other countries or move to larger centres for employment and, by and large, they’re on their own. So childcare becomes an issue when both parents work.

I don’t know how we’ll manage it but I’m sure we’ll find something. It’s still over a year away. But I do know this: He’s totally going to Robotics Camp.

Edited to add: And just like that, here’s the New York Times on this very topic.

In Which My Child’s Chain Restaurant Colouring Book is Sort of Disturbing

I think I may have found the world’s least effective stranger danger colouring book.

This evening, it being Friday and a pay week for both of us, we decided to splurge and take ourselves to that fancy chicken-themed chain restaurant in our neighbourhood. Generally we like the place because it has a little play room for the kids and they get to eat their meals out of a cardboard car and damn it, sometimes you just want rotisserie chicken without any complications and surprises. Yes, I realize it’s factory chicken and the quality isn’t the best and why am I justifying our Friday evening meal choices?

"Hey kids! It's me! That chicken from that chain restaurant you like! I'm hiding behind your tree! Don't let your mother see me!"

So we had our chicken and free dessert for the kids. Tonight, after his ice cream, the Youngling was given a special kids bag to take home. Inside the reusable bag was a colouring book and crayons. Now, it wasn’t the blatant corporate advertising (I thought there were laws against this) or the enforcement of gender stereotyping (Mother makes breakfast. Dad doesn’t show up until dinner. At the restaurant. Yes, the story in the colouring book ends with the family happily enjoying a night out. Seriously, McDonald’s isn’t this obvious).

No, it was the bizarre and not terribly well-thought out images they used to illustrate whatever kind of story this is supposed to be. Well, it’s supposed to be a couple of kids hanging out with a chicken and then going out with the family to his restaurant where said chicken will be consumed.

"Your mother told me to walk you to school. No, you don't have to check with her."

So as far as I can tell the large, anthropomorphic chicken creeps around children’s houses, hiding behind trees and beckoning innocent kids to follow him. To his credit, he doesn’t take them into a windowless van but, rather, to school. Except that if you look into their eyes, it’s fairly clear drugs have been used at some point.
With the children still in an alcohol induced haze, the chicken appears to be holding something his his hand. Is he counting money? A fee for walking them to school, perhaps? No, clearly this is some kind of finder’s fee for grooming them to be trafficked.

Don't do it, kids!

Fortunately, he isn’t a very good predator considering that his face and phone number are written on the side of his car.

The Family Car

No, I did not buy a Dodge Caravan. Besides being out of my budget, I, like the family in the commercial, have ONE KID. Who needs that much car to cart one entitled kid who apparently needs TWO TV screens to keep herself entertained?

We’re still rolling in the 2003 Corolla which recently treated itself to a $1,500 brake job. The new car will likely be smaller than that. The list includes a Yaris or Ford Fiesta. I do understand that when you start a family, you need to evaluate how you’re going to cart everyone around and sometimes an SUV or Minivan just fits the bill. We just don’t need that much car ourselves but I’m not anti-Minivan or anything. I just think sometimes people get more car than they need. Some people don’t need any car. I know a couple in NDG whose family vehicle is one of these cool bikes from Denmark.

I do admit, I love the Toyota Highlander. But I fear if I ever got one, my kid would turn into an asshole.

Seriously, Dad? You’re gonna let your kid behave this way? I’m calling child protection services.