Open Letter to Archie Andrews of Riverdale, USA

Dear Archie

Dude, seriously? Sure, she’s hot, and probably more interesting than Betty. However, you need to remember the old saying about possession leading to contempt. What was once charming about your middle class tastes (chain restaurants, reality TV, menswear from Sears) will soon be an irritant to her. I just wonder if you’ll ever overcome the class divide.

In other words, like she’s not gonna dump your ginger ass the minute Reggie Mantle makes his first million off a Ponzi scheme.

Kind regards,
John