Update on A Study in Scarlet by Arthur Conan Doyle

Told you I was a slow reader, didn’t I? 

163 pages to tell a short murder mystery set in Victorian London; about half of which are a lengthy back story involving pioneer era Mormons. Sir Arthur, what the Hell?

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Last night, possibly spurred by last night’s discovery of my old community college diploma in radio journalism, I had a dream in which I became a freelance reporter for the CBC, specialising in the Montreal arts and culture scene. 

However, because I graduated in 1992, my technical skills were out of date. While younger, hipper, better-looking reporters rushed around me with their MacBooks, I was trying to find a shoulder strap for the portable reel-to-reel tape recorder that I found in the CBC’s basement. I was an ace tape editor back in the day.

Apparently, all of CBC’s arts reporters were competing with each other so we were all sent to a media event where some unidentified artist was making an announcement of some kind. When I arrived, the younger reporters started saying how they admired my retro style but I couldn’t persuade them that this was the only way I knew how to report (because cassette tapes hadn’t occurred to me). 

Sometimes it’s good to change a career but sometimes it’s good to stay where you know what you’re doing. 

And in other news

Watched a little of the Junos last night. Still not sure why Russell Peters has become as huge as he is. He’s funny for about two minutes and I liked his little Bollywood dance entrance but then he repeats these jokes for an hour: “I ate French fries for lunch today which is funny, because I’m Indian.”

Still Other News

Attention Dorval Residents:

Dropping off your busted-ass TV set at the local recycling bins is NOT recycling. And probably not legal.

And Finally

The Youngling has bronchiolitus and his mum has sinusitus although both seem to be on the mend. But if you’re lucky, Toronto, we’ll be bringing these exciting viruses to your town this Friday. We’ll be hooking up with some old friends and celebrating all things British. And drinking beer.

Except for the Youngling.

He likes whisky.

It just goes to show you can’t be too careful!

You may recall my complaint about online comments and how they’re a sure sign of the end of humanity as we know it. Turns out I’m not the only one who’s noticed this. 

In a recent Observer column, British comedian David Mitchell describes, quite succinctly I think, these commenters as ‘inexplicably livid’. He also reports on the British government’s plan to allow users of public services to leave online comments of, for example, their nurses, all in the name of transparency, apparently. 

He also offers a suggestion for anyone reading a particular news item’s comment section where the discussion has turned sour. He asks readers to, en masse, start adding the reassuringly inoffensive one sentence comment: ‘It just goes to show, you can’t be too careful!’ 

I’m not sure what effect it’ll have on the the teeth gnashers over at the Globe and Mail’s comments section but perhaps it may just show how silly it is to yell at people anonymously over the interwebs.

His article also points to what has become my latest favourite website of the moment:  ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com, which collects the best, most idiotic, racist online comments from British news sites.

I complain about these people but sometimes I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have them to infuriate and delight me.

Om Nom Nom Nom

221B Baker Street

Remember the other day when I was talking about all the books I haven’t read? Well, I was in the bookstore on Saturday and decided I wanted to read one of those classic tales that everyone knows but have never read myself. 

So, I picked up a A Study in Scarlet by Arthur Conan Doyle, more commonly known as the first published Sherlock Holmes adventure. Despite Holmes being one of the most famous characters in literature, I’ve never read any of the stories. 

I’d never read mysteries, mostly because I’m not that observant so the little clues that a writer, I assume, plants throughout the story pass me by completely. However, I figured starting with the classics wouldn’t be so bad.

So, how is it, you may ask? It’s awesome. Almost halfway through the book I have learned the following:

• Holmes is unaware that the Earth revolves around the sun. Such knowledge is of no use to his work. Such a fact would crowd out other, more useful, facts in his brain so he tries to forget these things as soon as he learns them.  
• When people say there is always a foreign power in Afghanistan, they aren’t kidding. Page one features Watson coming home from the place. Holmes correctly guesses this fact by briefly observing Watson. 
• Holmes and Watson agree to rent a flat together because they are broke. 
• And, most shocking of all, Holmes and Watson are introduced by a mutual friend who is aware that both are in need of a place to live. This makes the 1985 film Young Sherlock Holmes nothing but a damned lie.